I have a few confessions. They are necessary to understand who I am and I've only just realized how important that is.
I'm bipolar. I'm a smoker. Half the time when I drink, its because I feel numb. I'm suicidal. I'm a cutter. I don't know what I want in life. I fall in love too fast. I hate too easily. I'm not half the man I pretend to be. I may act confident, but you could kill me with two words. I'm emotional. I have commitment issues. I'm dramatic. I over-state things. I don't care enough. I love too much.
What brought this on, you ask? Number 7: I fall in love too fast. Oh, I may not have loved you. No, not yet. But I would have. I did everything I could to help you. I said everything I knew to make you feel better. I spent a month trying to meet you, but in the end you fucked it up.
Its not just your fault that this ended. But I would be lying if I took all the blame. You're scared of a good thing. You think running home will help you. It might. But what happens when you realize that running only delayed the problem?
I never said I was perfect and I never will. I told you, I'm just as fucked up as you are. You didn't believe me. Well, you sure as fuck do now, huh? If I knew where you lived, I would walk there right now, take you in my arms and tell you that its all gonna be okay. But this isn't a movie, is it?
I'm sorry for what I said but I meant a lot of it. You need to realize that. I hope one day you do. I hope you find your way home. I hope you get to see your brother. I hope you find someone. I hope you realize that you're not 'okay' with being in the closet. I hope that one day you find peace and happiness. I won't be here waiting. But I will be thinking of you.
You're gone from my life. Is that good enough for them?
"Wipe the mud stains from your face,
Stop the engine, Stop pretending.
Wipe the mud spray from your face,
Stop the engine, Stop pretending that you're still breathing."
I'm bipolar. I'm a smoker. Half the time when I drink, its because I feel numb. I'm suicidal. I'm a cutter. I don't know what I want in life. I fall in love too fast. I hate too easily. I'm not half the man I pretend to be. I may act confident, but you could kill me with two words. I'm emotional. I have commitment issues. I'm dramatic. I over-state things. I don't care enough. I love too much.
What brought this on, you ask? Number 7: I fall in love too fast. Oh, I may not have loved you. No, not yet. But I would have. I did everything I could to help you. I said everything I knew to make you feel better. I spent a month trying to meet you, but in the end you fucked it up.
Its not just your fault that this ended. But I would be lying if I took all the blame. You're scared of a good thing. You think running home will help you. It might. But what happens when you realize that running only delayed the problem?
I never said I was perfect and I never will. I told you, I'm just as fucked up as you are. You didn't believe me. Well, you sure as fuck do now, huh? If I knew where you lived, I would walk there right now, take you in my arms and tell you that its all gonna be okay. But this isn't a movie, is it?
I'm sorry for what I said but I meant a lot of it. You need to realize that. I hope one day you do. I hope you find your way home. I hope you get to see your brother. I hope you find someone. I hope you realize that you're not 'okay' with being in the closet. I hope that one day you find peace and happiness. I won't be here waiting. But I will be thinking of you.
You're gone from my life. Is that good enough for them?
"Wipe the mud stains from your face,
Stop the engine, Stop pretending.
Wipe the mud spray from your face,
Stop the engine, Stop pretending that you're still breathing."
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